Chris and I are really excited to share the news that we are adopting a child. After a TON of research, we've chosen an open, domestic, infant adoption. We have completed our home study and all of our training, and now we are in the waiting phase. We hope to be matched with a birth family in the next few months.
As we've journeyed down the adoption path, I have learned a tremendous amount of information about adoption. I have met some truly wonderful and amazing people who were willing to share their adoption experiences so that Chris and I could start our family. I want to pay it forward someday, and maybe this blog will help get me started.
I've also discovered that most people know very little about adoption. Some of the people I've spoken with - people that I know would never intentionally hurt me - have said some really offensive things. I hope that this blog will help dispel some of the many myths about adoption (especially open adoption).
I have a litany of topics I'd like to discuss - international vs. domestic adoption, open vs. closed vs. semi-open adoption, choosing an agency, disruption myths, birth mothers, home studies, expenses - the list goes on and on. There are a few aspects that Chris and I have chosen to keep to ourselves - potential matches, for example - at the present time, but I will try to be as honest as I can. I also plan to talk about infertility, but to a lesser extent; I'd rather focus on a joyful future than a painful past. However, it is part of what brought us to this point, and I want to be a source of support for any other couples who may be experiencing infertility. Also, the science is REALLY cool.
While the waiting phase is kind of frustrating, it's also kind of peaceful, and it's the best time to write this blog. I certainly won't have time once a baby is placed with us! Thanks for reading. I look forward to sharing our story with you.
Thank you for sharing your story with us.
ReplyDeleteI had a work friend who talked to me about what it was like for her to put a baby up for adoption. She'd gotten pregnant at 14 or 15. Her dad was a minister, and she was very religious. She said, surprisingly, everyone was very cruel to her about it, including members of her church. Her dad stopped talking to her throughout the pregnancy, and people who heard about her plans to put her baby up for adoption told her things like how she's going to regret it, and it's the worst decision she'll ever make. Some people asked her how she could "abandon" her baby. I'm glad she was a strong person, and her decision to go through an open adoption was the best for her. She got cards in the mail with her child's picture in it, and she even got to go to the birthday parties. The little girl knew her as her "birth mother," so she had her MOM and she had her "birth mother." It worked well for them. She was very happy with her decision, and her dad came around and ended up being proud of her for making that decision, too. To think, handling all that on her own at such a young age!
I doubt people mean to be cruel about those things, but it doesn't take away the sting. She stopped going to her church all together because she couldn't handle the hostility she felt. People should be supportive of these decisions. What matters is that someone is there to love and raise the baby, and it doesn't have to be the "birth parents."
Just my two cents.
I agree with you. I have so much respect for birth families, and I've been appalled by what some people have said about them. We hope to have a lasting relationship with our birth mother (and any other family members that want to be involved).
DeleteI'm glad your friend is happy with her decision. She should be very proud.